NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #5 (July 17, 2002)
Cut to footage from earlier in the week, where Goldilocks caught up to Shamrock somewhere on a rainy day. She barely gets a word in and he yells "back off, bitch!" He lambasts her for needing a story, and about how he's been pestered about getting a chair wrapped around his head. He rather show than tell by kicking the shit out of everybody. Then he shoves the camera away and leaves.
Still broadcasting from Nashville as we're welcomed to the show by Tenay, West and Ferrara. We learn that tonight we find out the #1 contender to Shamrock's title, as Malice takes on Jarrett in a ladder match, and that seems to be our first match of the night.
First though, Jarrett and Hall are going at it backstage, Hall beating the crap out of Jarrett until Jarrett takes control, throwing each other around. Jarrett face first into a garage door and they keep going at it until security rush in to pull them apart. Behrens kicks Jarrett out and he's forfeited his match now because of this. We're not 5 minutes into this show and it's chaos.
Well we're supposed to have a ladder match, and James Mitchell makes his way out with his Disciples of the New Church. Mitchell has a mic and says it's with deep regret that he announces, due to unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances, Jarrett won't be able to bleed tonight. However, his weapon of mass destruction Malice is still in the mood to wash his hands in the crimson life essence of another victim, so Malice is formally extending the thorn branch to anyone in the arena that wants to take a ride in the fast lane to Hell and back. The lights suddenly go out and suddenly of all people Sabu has appeared in the ring.
#1 Contender's Ladder Match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Sabu vs Malice (w/ Father James Mitchell, Slash & Tempest)
Malice misses a clothesline and Saby lays into him in the corner, then Malice lays into him in the corner. Sabu sent across the ring, gets his feet up, to the middle rope with a tornado DDT. Springboard heel kick, then sent of the ropes into a back elbow. Malice with a pair of elbows and chokes Sabu, then a scoop slam. Tempest tosses a chair to Malice but Sabu kicks the legs out from under him before throwing the chair into his face, then a second time. Malice in the corner as Sabu launches himself off the chair, only to be caught with a backbreaker. Malice punts the chair out of the ring before delivering a suplex. Malice off the ropes with a leg drop. Chair has been wedged into the corner as Sabu goes face first in the opposite one, then goes face first into the wedged chair. Sabu choked over the bottom rope by Tempest. Malice has Sabu on the ropes and goes for... I don't know what the hell he was going for, he launches himself at Sabu with a flying nothing, and then just goes over the ropes to the floor.
Malice gets the ladder and drops it several times, and then they botch their timing for Sabu to dropkick it back in his face from inside the ring and through the ropes. Sabu launches off the chair and springboard onto Malice to the floor. Tempest tries to interfere but gets sent into the guard rail, then Sabu launches off the steps into Malice and the guard rail. Sabu goes under the ring and pulls out a table, setting it up next to the apron and allows Malice to nail him from behind. Sabu face first off the steps, and Malice has bridged the ladder between the ring and guard rail, dropping Sabu face first onto it, then ribs first.
Back in the ring now, Sabu's nose got busted at some point as Malice leans the ladder in the corner, whipped Sabu into it, then splashes him into it. Malice grabs Sabu and the ladder together before slamming them into the mat. Malice gets the chair and cracks Sabu over the back. Malice wastes too much time as he grabs the ladder and Sabu springboard heel kicks it back into his face. Sabu lays the ladder over his face and leg drops onto it. Sabu sets up the ladder and makes the climb but he's caught by Malice and powerbombed to the mat. Malice leans the ladder in the corner again, then delivers a belly to belly suplex onto it. Sabu sent off the ropes into a right hand.
Ladder is set back up by Malice and he starts to climb. Sabu to the top rope to dropkick the ladder over. Malice is back up again and leans the ladder into the corner once more, then Sabu is whipped into it but avoids a second splash. Sabu gets the chair and throws it into Malice's face, then launches off the chair into Malice. Sabu goes up top behind the ladder and pulls it down across the back of Malice. Sabu with the Arabian Facebuster. Tempest chokes Sabu over the bottom rope again. Sabu sets up the ladder once more and climbs up until Malice pulls him back down. Sabu with some rights and some more chair shots to the head, until he's caught with a spinebuster. Malice sets the ladder up again and starts to climb until Sabu tips the ladder over, and Malice crashes through the table he set up at ringside. Sabu climbs the ladder now and pulls down the contract to win in 13:28. OK, it was a good car crash match. But I'm not sure how I feel about a Shamrock/Sabu match. Better than the other two alternatives though.
Tempest immediately attacks and so does Slash. Sabu sent off the ropes, ducks a double clothesline and takes them both out with a springboard moonsault. Malice comes back in and it's 3 on 1 now. Chair shot to the head by Malice. Slash and Tempest pull out another table and sets it up ringside. Malice takes Sabu to the apron and chokeslams Sabu from it through the table.
Cut outside where security is still restraining Jarrett and he's yelling at Behrens.
Back to the arena, Sabu is helped up and out comes Styles who takes the mic. He starts to talk about being owed an explanation from Lynn, but Lynn cuts him off and out he comes, saying he doesn't owe Styles anything, but he'll tell him anyways. Lynn compares their years of experience in the business, AJ's 3 1/2 to Lynn's 14 at this point. Then Lynn says that while AJ's mom was home powdering his ass, he was busting his in the ring. He's done more in one day than AJ's done in his lifetime. He says AJ walks around like he's King Shit, but Lynn says he ain't shit, he's never had to sleep in his car at a truck or rest stop because he couldn't afford a hotel room. never had to live off peanut butter sandwiches for weeks on end because he couldn't afford to eat, and ain't shit til he's paid his dues like Lynn has. He says when he lets Styles be his tag partner, Styles didn't do him a favor, he gave Styles an opportunity, and he'll be goddamned if he sits back while some snot-nosed punk steals the victories and the glory. Lynn turns his back and AJ kicks him in the back of the head, then a discus clothesline before laying in the boots and delivering the Styles Clash. AJ leaves. Damn Lynn can cut a hell of a promo.
Cut to Goldilocks in the back, who's going to get a word with Jasmine St. Clair, but first we see a replay of her strip tease last week. Then Jasmine gets attacked by Francine in her locker room into the shower room.
Break
Back to the ring, K-Krush makes his way out and gets a mic. He wants everyone because he looks like a star, every time he's on the mic he sounds like a star, and whether he's dancing down the ramp or in the ring or just knocking the dust off someone's ass he moves like a star, he even smells like a star. He questions why he's not the biggest star in the business, why they put him in the ring with a NASCAR driver, or why WWE let him go. He says they were afraid he'd become something they were scared of, that he'd be the hottest item they had, which means they'd have had to promote him, sell his t-shirts, or get gold around his ripped waist. He's been kept down his whole life, treated like a second-class citizen, because they know he's better than them and they're afraid. From this point on, he's going to take what's supposed to be his, and after years of being suppressed it's time to move to the top of the mountain. He says he's not an angry black man, he's the truth and the truth will no longer be denied. God damn that's a hell of a promo and the crowd ate it up.
K-Krush vs Screamin' Norman Smiley
Krush attacks from behind and lays into Norman in the corner with rights and boots. Krush sent off the ropes into a hip toss, then Norman leapfrogs and wiggles. Norman sent off the ropes but hits his windup scoop slam. Krush sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, caught in a wheelbarrow and wiggle by Norman before being sent to the mat face first. Norman covers for two. Krush sent into the corner, goes up and over, backflips and splits before delivering a dropkick, then a cover for two, and another for two. Norman sent face first in the corner and Krush boots him down, choking him with his boot. Krush sent across the ring, gets a boot up, misses a clothesline and caught with a back suplex. Norman with rights and a headbutt, then Krush sent off the ropes, into a back elbow and a clothesline. Krush counters an Irish whip and delivers a front suplex for the win in 3:21. Much like the match on the last show with Brian Lawler, this should have been a squash match.
Krush takes off his belt and starts whipping Norman, then chokes him with it, hangs Norman with it over the top rope. Out comes who we're told is Norman's wife to stop it. Then Krush gets his hands on her but the ref and security get them pulled apart and Norman is out cold on the floor.
Goldy is backstage and she's supposed to be interviewing Puppet, but he's busy hiding in a trash bin for some reason. Apparently he's in there meditating and getting his game face on and he's suffering from PMS, or Pissed Midget Syndrome, something a little summer breeze can't take care of. He says that only beating midgets can solve his problem. He has a match with Meatball, the world's largest midget, but Puppet says you're either a midget or... I think he's trying to say Macauley Culkin but he butchers it, and he's got plans for Meatball. He also hits on her and she makes a short dick joke. Then she happens to bump into the Duffs doing... something.
Break
We learn that AJ and Lynn are set for a match next week before we get to our next match,
The Flying Elvises vs "Fallen Angel" Chrisopher Daniels vs "Primetime" Elix Skipper
Pre-Match: No Yang again this week, suppose he's still in Japan. We also see footage from the last show, when the Elvises attacked following the X Division main event.
Brawl between all four as usual with Daniels and Jorge being launched out to the floor. Elix sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline then dives out onto Jorge. Jorge and Daniels return to the ring, and something happens but they go to replay, then come back to Daniels being planted face first.Siaki and Elix in the ring as Elix is sent throat first into the middle rope, popped up into a Samoan drop. Siaki covers for two. Jorge back in, off the ropes with a running shooting star and covers for two. Jorge sent to the corner as Siaki joins commentary for some reason, Elix with a shot to the back, caught with a butterfly suplex and covers for one.
Jorge stomps away and chokes Elix. Siaki leaves commentary and Elix is caught with a clothesline. Siaki tags in then Elix sent to the corner, gets a boot up, misses a clothesline, backbreaker over the shoulder and a cover for two from Siaki. Jorge back in, split-legged moonsault and a cover for two. Siaki back to commentary as Jorge covers again for two. Jorge with a Razor's Edge into a neckbreaker, cover and Daniels breaks it up. Jorge sent off the ropes, back drops Elix to the apron, Jorge off the ropes and caught with a Buckshot Lariat. Meanwhile it looks like Siaki and Jorge are splitting because Siaki claims to have been carrying Jorge on his back the last month.
Siaki leaves commentary again. Daniels gets the hot tag, dropkicks and clotheslines, then a bulldog and clothesline combo take out the Elvises. Estrada with a back suplex to Daniels, then Elix jumps off Daniels' back, off of Estrada's shoulders, onto Siaki's shoulders for a hurricanrana. Daniels with a Blue Thunder Bomb to Jorge for two. Daniels sent off the ropes, tripped up from the outside and dropkicked in the head. Jorge with a leg drop from the middle rope and a cover for two. Siaki back in. Chops in the corner, then Daniels with rights to both until he's caught with a knee, then choked back in the corner. Jorge back in, Daniels sent into the corner, misses a splash and caught with an enziguri.
Elix gets the hot tag and Siaki's in. Rights by Elix, then a spinning heel kick sends Jorge out to the floor. Arm drag to Siaki and a belly to belly, then a butterfly suplex, floating over for a cover but Jorge breaks it up. Jorge tags in, ducks a clothesline and hits a facebuster, then botches a springboard twisting senton, covers and Daniels breaks it up. Daniels tags in, reverse STO, then the BME, covers and Siaki breaks it up. Siaki back in, Daniels with a flatliner and Elix tags in. He goes up top with a missile dropkick, covers for two. Elix caught with a pumphandle suplex, Siaki covers and Daniels breaks it up.
Daniels takes himself and Siaki out to the floor. Elix back in the ring tries for the Overdrive, then Jorge tries to counter with a German suplex but Elix lands on his feet, then Elix connects with the Overdrive. While all this is going on, Daniels and Siaki are fighting out on the floor and the ref has been distracted this whole time, so there's no one to count the pin when Elix covers. Siaki slides back in with the Money Clip, a snap swinging neckbreaker, for the win in 9:50. Match was a bit of a mess at times despite some cool offense, but can we stop breaking up every team in the company?
Out comes the Dupps and nails Jorge with a few pieces of wood, and Siaki has bailed on his partner. I don't know what the point of this is.
Goldy is backstage with K-Krush and asks what the point of attacking Norman after the match was. Krush suggest he maybe start slapping her around and calls her a bitch, then Hall comes out of nowhere and drives him into a garage door, then a second time. Hall leaves.
Hardcore Midget Match: Puppet the Psycho Dwarf vs Meatball
Pre-Match: There's a shopping cart full of food for Meatball by the ramp, and he goes to the ring eating Cheetos. Puppet comes out and tosses a kendo stick and trash can into the ring.
Puppet nails Meatball with the trash can while he's setting his Cheetos down in the corner. Meatball is sent into the trash can and flattens it. Puppet covers for two. Trash can is kicked back into the face of Meatball. Puppet sent off the ropes and tumbles through them to the floor, then a double ax handle from Meatball off the apron. Puppet scoop slammed onto the ramp, then Meatball cartwheels over him before dropping an elbow. Puppet whipped into the guard rail, then Meatball goes to his food cart and pie faces Puppet. Then some string cheese to the face. Puppet with a low blow. Puppet with a flour back to the back of the head, then a watermelon tot he head. Meatball face first off the ramp, then a trash lid to the head. Puppet gets a chair and dropkicks it into Meatball's face. Puppet tosses the chair into the ring before rolling Meatball into the steps. Puppet climbs the steps and delivers a tornado DDT to the floor, covers but it only gets two.
Meatball face first off the apron, then Puppet and Meatball up to the apron. Meatball hangs over the bottom rope and the chair beneath him, Puppet to the middle rope with a leg drop onto the chair. Puppet lays the chair on his chest before going back to the middle rope with a Vader Bomb for the win in 6:17. Yeah this one went a bit too long and wasn't very good.
Puppet leaves.
Still to come, AJ and Low Ki for the X Title, and Hall vs Lawler.
Break
Jasmine comes out still wet after the shower fight with Francine earlier. She's at least selling the attack, so that's something. She calls out Francine to kick her scrawny ass.
Jasmine St. Clair vs Francine
Pre-Match: Jasmine still wet after the shower fight with Francine earlier. She's at least selling the attack, so that's something.
Catfight spot. Francine's top is removed. Jasmine's shorts are removed., then she's kicked in the ribs. Francine gets her belt and starts whipping Jasmine in the ass. Suddenly the Blue Meanie comes out, who we're told is Jasmine's boyfriend. So Francine whips him until dropping her with a DDT. Meanie carries Jasmine out, so I guess this is a no contest in about 1:46.
Ferrara leaves commentary to check on Francine, who's clutching at her neck and EMTs come out too to stretcher her out.
Goldy tries to get a word with Low Ki, but he just mutters about doing his talking in the ring and leaves.
Break
We get a look at AJ and Low Ki's respective finishers, the Dragon Clutch and the Ki Crusher '99 for Low Ki, and the Styles Clash and Spiral Tap for AJ.
X Division World Championship: Low Ki vs AJ Styles (c)
Some fast-paced back and forth, then they mount each other with vicious rights. Kicks by Ki, then an exchange of chops. Exchange of kicks to the legs and bodies until AJ is tripped up and Low Ki takes control with a front facelock. AJ mounts with rights then gets kicked as Ki tries to create distance. Chops in the corner by Ki, then AJ sent across the ring, Ki goes for a cartwheel only to be dropkicked in the chest by AJ mid-handstand. Ki sent off the ropes into a dropkick, then AJ with a scoop slam, off the ropes with a senton, covers for two.
Ki counters an Irish whip to roll through, kick AJ in the top of the head, then off the ropes and boots AJ out to the apron. AJ goes up top after fighting him off only to be kicked back to the apron. Ki tries to suplex him back in, then AJ brings him out to the apron and delivers a clothesline. AJ with a springboard moonsault misses. Ki goes face first off the apron and AJ slides back in, tries for a suicide dive but Ki connects with an enziguri. AJ pulled back out to the apron and they trade shots, then AJ tries for a scoop slam only for Ki to drop into the ring and apply a dragon sleeper over the top rope until the ref forces a break. Ki covers but it only gets two.
Dragon sleeper reapplied by Ki but AJ grabs hold of the rope to force a break. AJ with his springboard moonsault into the inverted DDT, then a cover for two. Ki sent into the corner and connects with a superkick, then caught with a snap slam, AJ covers for two. AJ with a stalling brainbuster, AJ slow to cover for a near fall. Ki sent into the corner, AJ misses a splash and goes face first off the post. AJ perched on the top rope and blocks a superplex, dropping Ki down with a front suplex, then misses the Spiral Tap. Ki covers but it only gets two. Ki gets AJ up for the Ki Crusher, though decides to send the back of his head into the turnbuckle instead, then goes for the Crusher but AJ counters with a DDT.
AJ sent to the corner and caught with a cartwheel kick. Ki slowly back to his feet goes up top and goes for a corkscrew senton, but he's caught midair on the shoulders and hit with a Styles Clash 10:39. Damn the timing on that last spot was incredible. Another good match here, though oddly the crowd was not into it for the most part.
AJ is on his way to the back only to eat a vicious spear by Lynn, He throws the belt onto AJ before bringing him back to the ring, dropping him with the cradle piledriver. Lynn pulls out a ladder now and leans it in the corner. Referees are out to try and stop this, but AJ is sent into the ladder with a Northern Lights suplex. Mounted rights by Lynn before setting the ladder on the mat, driving AJ into with a front suplex. More boots to the head by Lynn, then a leg drop to the back of the head. Lynn finally leaves. I guess AJ and Lynna re set to defend their titles next week too.
Break
Now to the main event.
Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall
Pre-Match: Brian gets the mic and there's a "Jerry's kid" chant. He reminds them that he's no longe Jerry's kid. Now he's going to give us a few Jerry facts. #1: he's been married 3 times, and all three his wife was younger than Brian, which gets applause. #2: he makes it clear this is a shoot and says he left a ticket for Jerry to come down, sit in the crowd, and watch his son wrestle, but he's not there, because he likes to hang out at the local high school on Wednesday nights with a fistful of candies. #3: one that also involves J.R. and Vinny Mac, but he's interrupted by Hall's music and has it cut off. Of course he's oblivious to the fact that Hall is sneaking into the ring from behind. Brian calls him "Last Call" Scott Hall as he mocks Scott. I swear Hall jut stands there for what feels like 10 minutes as Brian talks trash, and finally he turns around and Hall decks him.
More rights by Hall, then Brian sent off the ropes, hangs on only to be knocked out to the floor. More rights and Brian is sent into the guard rail, then onto the announce table. More rights by Hall as Brian stands on it, then sent face first into the table again. Brian sent into the guard rail again face and ribs first. More rights by Hall before they return to the ring. Brian just slides right back out and Hall follows up the ramp. Hall drops him with another right, and another, back to ringside. Hall takes a purse from the crowd and nails Hall with it before delivering some rights of his own. Hall face first into the ring post before returning to the ring again. More rights by Brian, then Hall goes face first in the corner. Mounted rights by Brian. Hall is tripped up then Brian with a low blow knee drop. Brian flips off the crowd before delivering a suplex, floats over for two.
Hall sent into the corner before Brian rams his shoulder into Hall's ribs. Hall is choked over the middle rope, then a right hand as Brian slides out of the ring. Brian gets a mic again and tells the Jerry's kid chanters to kiss his ass. Brian with more rights, then Hall with some shots of his own, misses a discus clothesline and eats a superkick. Brian goes up top only to be thrown off to his back. Hall with more rights, Brian sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, goes for a crossbody but caught with a fallaway slam. Brian set on the topr ope for a back suplex from the middle rope.
Hall signals for the end and goes for the Razor's Edge, then Krush runs in and gets decked by Hall, then again and knocked out to the floor. Hall delivers the Razor's Edge for the win in 8:25. Not a great match, and Krush's interference made no sense considering Hall would win anyways.
Krush comes back in but he's caught. Hall goes for the edge but he's low blowed three times by Brian. Krush takes off his belt and uses it to low blow hall some more.before using it to hang hall from the middle rope. Brian tosses out the referee but more refs and security rush out, along with Bob Armstrong and eventually Hall is freed. A stretcher is brought out and Hall is starting to get carted out, but of course here's Jarrett with a chair to lay out a few dozen security and EMTs, and that's how the show ends.
FINAL THOUGHS
Somehow Jarrett is even more unbearable than he was in WCW. This show had two good things going for it, the Ladder Match and the X Division Title match, everything else was crap or just... kinda there. And I dread for the day that Jarrett eventually wins the World Title. He offers nothing to this show. With a run time of 1:47:57, this show had a total 53:46 of wrestling.
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